Week 3 Story: The Neglected Brother
Author's Note - My story is based on the Ramayana Part A and B. I read the public domain version of the Ramayana which was composed of stories written by several authors. It's based on Bharata, the neglected brother forced to rule, and it will be written around him, from his perspective, and will focus on his thoughts about the whole situation. The format will be almost a soliloquy, where he's just alone with his thoughts about everything and is thinking aloud. Each line represents a new direction/turn his thoughts are going to. The setting is his throne room.
Bibliography - Numerous Authors. PDE Ramayana. Link.
-But I guess I have to do this. Because I love
my kingdom. And I loved my Appa. And I love Rama. So I’ll take good care of
this throne while he’s away, for Rama. This is for Rama.
Bibliography - Numerous Authors. PDE Ramayana. Link.
Rama Meets Bharata [source]
-You know, you’re gone for just a bit for a nice vacation to
see your grandfather and his kingdom, and then you come back, and everything
has changed.
-How did everything change so quickly?
-Appa’s gone. Amma’s crazy. Rama, Sita, and Lakshaman are exiled
to some godforsaken jungle. I’m king?!
-I never wanted to be king! I never expected to be king! I
always thought Rama would be king!
-Why the hell would Amma have thought I should be king?
-Why wouldn’t she want Rama to be king? She always loved
Rama before. She never seemed to have an issue with his favor and success.
-Rama’s the perfect king. He’s as wise as an owl, as strong
as an elephant, and as kind as the deer. Everyone has always looked to him to
be the next king. Everyone has wanted him to succeed Appa. Why am I succeeding Appa
instead?
-I never minded, at all, the fact that Rama seemed blessed
by the gods and how he was just better, at everything. He was my brother, I
loved him, and he never had the sort of attitude to where one could even resent
him. He was the one who was set for the throne. Oh, it hadn’t been official,
but no one could miss Appa’s officials and nobles directing him and trying to
teach him aspects of ruling over the years. I’ve never been trained. I don’t
know anything about ruling.
-The worst part is – I went after Rama and told him to come
back! I told him to come back! And rule! Like he should! And he had the nerve
to say that he couldn’t disobey Appa! All I have now to help me rule are these sandals!
How are some sandals supposed to help me rule?
-I just know it, when I make my first decision as ruler, it’s
going to be a big mistake, and everyone’s going to question me and whisper
behind my back saying that I’m not a good ruler.
-And I’m not a good ruler! I wasn’t supposed to be! I’m a
supporting role, a supporting character!
Hi Deborah!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story. You did such a good job telling it from Bharata's point of view on how he feels about being the next king. It felt like I was in his head and going through his thoughts. I bet it wasn't easy for him since he wasn't prepared for it, or had any knowledge on ruling. I'm glad though towards the end he starts to accept it and is going to do his best for his father and brother.
Hi Deborah! This was a great take on the story. I really felt like I was in Bharata's head. I really enjoyed how you laid out the emotions and feelings that he was going through. You did a great job of using an interrogative writing style to show Bharata questioning his current situation. I also liked the format of the story. I was kind of disappointed that Bharata didn't have more influence in the story of Rama after his exile. I think it would be really cool if you expanded his story to include his first potential "mistake" as a ruler. This tale is rich with irony and imagery, so I think there could be a lot of room for imagination. Maybe you could have him encounter a rakshaka or some other magical creature. Anyways, it's just an idea. Great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteDeborah, it was really cool to read Bharata's point of view. I was wondering what was going in his head during that whole ordeal. I liked how he started out feeling like he really couldn't do it, but he eventually realized that he had to. I think what I liked most about your story was how you told it. It was unique and you pulled it off well.
ReplyDeleteHi Deborah!
ReplyDeleteI like the concept of rewriting a story from a persons point of view. You did that very well. Bharata is such a minor character, I am glad that you chose to make him the focal point. I think my favorite part was when he was ranting about the sandals. I feel like I know little about Bharata's character now. He is a little sarcastic, tries to do his best in a hard situation, and struggles with self doubt. You covered his thoughts about his and Rama's relationship, and how he did not want to be king very well. Maybe you could add more about his relationship with his mother and father, the were kind of brief. Also, what if you add thoughts about Lakshmana, since the three brothers had a solid relationship. I wonder what Bharata's thoughts are when Rama, Lakshmana, and Sita return. Bharata does know that their exile is temporary. Maybe he counts down the days, like a student waiting for summer. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and would not mind reading about other character's thought process.
Hi Deborah,
ReplyDeleteYou do a great job of illuminating the inner thoughts of Bharata in this story and showing the stress he has of realizing that he has to rule over a land in a role that he likely never thought he would have to do! It's interesting to see his standpoint because we really only get to hear that he is upset his father has died, and confused that he is chosen, but you bring forward the stress and anguish he experiences as well.
Deborah, until I read your version of the story, I didn't even take the time to think about Bharata's perspective on being thrown into being a king. Honestly, I saw him almost as an antagonist in the original story that felt entitled to being king, yet still felt guilty about it just because it meant banishing Rama. I loved rereading stories written by people in our class because the language isn't extremely flowery and the characters talk like we do so it makes it easier for us to relate to them.
ReplyDeleteHey Deborah,
ReplyDeleteYour story was great and I really liked reading it. It flowed really well together and I especially liked that you showed Bharata’s point of view into this so we can know how he feels. I felt that I would read his mind and his thoughts which was great. I could really imagine while I was reading your story. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Hi Deborah, I just read your story and I love the connection with the epic. I really liked how you put in in first person because I feel like that adds a personal feel to the story. It is really cool that you made it from Bharata's point of view also. I am looking forward to reading some more of your stories.
ReplyDelete