Week 13 Story: A Sitcom Version of the Mahabharata

UPDATE: A newer version of this story is available on my project website, which can be found here.

The scene is set: The Pandavas and Kauravas are in a field, separated into two groups, practicing their archery and fighting skills. Assorted family members and instructors are gathered as well, either to spectate and observe or to instruct and advise. The Pandavas and Kauravas are young – Duryodhana and Yudhishthira are around 7-8 years of age. Duryodhana is approaching the shelf where his bow is kept, in order to get some archery practice in during this session, and he then makes a startling discovery.

“Auntie Kunti! Yudhishthira put my stuff in kulfi again!” yelled Duryodhana.

Yudhishthira, looking deceptively innocent, replied, “I’ve been practicing my archery with Arjuna all morning, isn’t that right, Arjuna? Why would you immediately jump to the conclusion that I did it?”

“Oh, yeah,” Arjuna said. “He’s been getting so much better. He could definitely give you a run for his money.”

“False. I am the best at archery. Also, at life. Auntie! Do something to Yudhisthira!” Duryodhana cried.

Kunti slowly moved toward the groups of cousins. “Okay, judge is in session. What seems to be the issue today?” she asked exasperatedly.

Duryodhana looked at his aunt and pointed to his prized bow stuck in kulfi, “Yudhishthira put my bow in kulfi again! It’s the third time, and I demand to see him punished!”

Kunti looked at the misshapen blob present in the kulfi. “Are you sure it’s your bow?”

“Yes, I’m sure! It’s where I always put my bow!” Duryodhana exclaimed.

Duryodhana then went towards the kulfi and reached out to grab his bow from the partially solidified mess of kulfi.

“No, no, no, you must eat the kulfi around from it! There is no wasting here. There are so many people in the villages of India that don’t have any food, so you better not be thinking about any wasting. And it’s mango flavored, your favorite,” Kunti scolded.

“Auntie, are you serious? My bow is covered in the blood of animals, dirt, and all sorts of nasty stuff!” Duryodhana protested. “Can you please just punish Yudhishthira? Make him eat my bow out from the kulfi.”

“Why are you so sure it was me that did it?” questioned Yudhishthira.

“It’s always you! And you never get punished!” Duryodhana yelled.

“Hey, there is no yelling in front of me. If you want me to punish Duryodhana, you must prove that it was him. You should not continue to make these unfounded accusations. As part of the royal family, if you should get the throne, you should rule with justice and without prejudice,” Kunti reprimanded.

Duryodhana looked mutinous, and he crossed his arms. He gestured to his brothers, the rest of the Kauravas, who had gathered around the confrontation, and began walking away with them.

And thus, the rivalry between the Pandavas and the Kauravas grew even stronger, setting the stage for the animosity between them in the later stages of their life – the animosity that would be the basis of war between them. This scene would be one of many arguments and fights that would lead to greater confrontations and attempts to kill each other. 

Mango kulfi, an Indian analogue to ice cream [source]

Author’s Note – I wanted to create a story that demonstrated one of the smaller, less serious events that occurred in the childhood of the Pandavas and the Kauravas that led to the animosity seen in the war in the Mahabharata, where family members are trying to kill each other. I wanted the scene to be more of a prank, but I also wanted the scene to demonstrate the subtle (or not so subtle) favoritism towards the Pandavas, that made the Kauravas angrier and more resentful. When I was thinking of possibilities for a prank between the Kauravas and the Pandavas (more specifically Yudhisthira and Duryodhana), I was immediately reminded of the rivalry and pranks between Dwight and Jim from the Office. It kind of worked perfectly as well, since in the show, Jim never really got any true punishment for his pranks. Much of the dialogue and the basis of the prank depicted in this story is directly inspired by the scene in the first episode of the Office, during which Jim put Dwight’s stapler in Jello and left it in his desk. During the scene, Dwight discovers his stapler covered in Jello, and he asks Michael to punish Jim. Michael enjoys the prank too much to take any real action against Jim. I also decided to take a more theatrical/dramatic approach to the story.

Bibliography - PDE Mahabharata. Multiple Authors. Link.